


See the Sun

by shadowsamurai



Category: Waking the Dead (TV)
Genre: Ambiguity, Angst, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-02
Updated: 2012-07-02
Packaged: 2017-11-09 01:31:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/449759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowsamurai/pseuds/shadowsamurai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A friend offering comfort after a death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	See the Sun

**Author's Note:**

> All lyrics used belong to Dido, and they're not in the right order, either. Second, this is another self-set challenge in ambiguity. I haven't actually written it with specific people in mind, though at the end, I'll put the two combinations it could be, in my head. If you think differently, that's cool.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing things for a while and I promise I'll put everything back exactly how I found it when I've finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it. ;)

 

WtD-WtD-WtD-WtD-WtD-WtD

*I'm comin' 'round to open up the blinds  
You can't hide here any longer*

I open the door with the spare key I have, knowing that if I knocked, he wouldn't answer. I knew her death had hit him hard, but I thought that after a while, he'd start getting over it and get back to work. I know it doesn't always work like that, but he's strong, and while they were close, closer than I've ever seen two people, I just never expected him to take it as hard as he did. But one week stretched into a month, which stretched into two, three, four... It got to the point where the ones in charge were starting to get antsy over his absence, and I was starting to worry because he had stopped answering the phone. So I decided enough was enough and marched round, opening the door and almost gagging. He hadn't cleaned the house, that much was clear, and I dreaded to think of the state of his person.

He's upstairs in his room, I knew he would be. He doesn't look too bad, though, and he smells relatively clean. He looks at me for a few moments, but I know he isn't actually seeing me. He's seeing her and the expression on his face almost breaks my heart. With a sigh, I walk over to him and grab his hand.

*My God, you need to rinse those puffy eyes  
You can't last here any longer*

It takes a little effort to haul him to his feet; he is, after all, notoriously stubborn. But I manage it and steer him towards the bathroom. I think the words 'shower, shave, now' are all that I use; any more would confuse him. It's hard for me to see him like this, but I know it must be even harder for him to see himself as he is. I can see it in his eyes; he wants to move on, but just doesn't know how. And there's no one else to help him, no one who even knows how to, I think. He can be formidable, even frightening, when he wants to be, and he's spent the last few months pushing everyone close to him away. But I care too much to let him sit here in the dark wasting away.

*Come on take my hand  
We're going for a walk, I know you can  
You can wear anything as long as it's not black*

We don't actually hold hands, that would have been too much, but I walk close beside him, offering him silent support. He looks like he doesn't want to be here, outside, but I get the feeling he doesn't want to be anywhere but with her. And that isn't possible, at least not yet. Well, it's possible, of course it is, but I'm not about to let it happen. At first, our pace is slow, like teaching someone to walk. We're literally putting one foot in front of the other and not getting anywhere fast. But it doesn't matter. He's out of the house and that's what matters. The curtains are open, the upstairs windows are open a fraction to let some air in; it's a start. I noticed her clothes are still in the wardrobe; that's something else that needs addressing. He'll never move on while there's so much to remind him of her.

Inevitably he asks about work, I knew he would, and so we meander back to the car and I take him there.

*And yes they'll ask you where you've been  
And you'll have to tell them again and again*

I can see it in his face, he's glad to be back, even though the memories of her are strongest here. They were colleagues first, friends second, and lovers last, and while the house they shared has strong ties for him, being back in the office is the biggest test of all. But the rest of the team are there, all wanting to be near him, support him, help him now they see he *can* be helped. And that he actually *wants* that help. And others drop by to see him, the Deputy Commissioner for one. Everyone asks him the same questions and he answers them all without tiring.

But after a while I can tell it's time to get him out of there and so we go up to Hampstead Heath. It's an odd choice, but for us, it's perfect. So many memories, some good, some bad, but that's why it's a perfect place; because it *isn't* perfect. It's real, and that's what he needs. And after a while, he speaks, but that one word causes my own pain over our loss to rear its head and almost overwhelm me.

"Why?"

There's so much anguish in that single, breathed word that it takes my breath away. I have no answer for him, and I feel as though I should. So instead, I respond with a question of my own.

*Do you remember telling me you found the sweetest thing of all?  
You said one day this was worth dying for  
So be thankful you knew her at all  
But it's no more*

He smiles a little, a good sign, but it soon fades. And then I realise that no one has actually spoke the words to him. No one has actually told her she's dead. He knows, of course, he isn't stupid, but not at one point did anyone ever say those three words. And now I have to. To help him heal, it's the only way. He needs to hear it and it's better coming from me than from anyone else. He might hate me for it, but I can do that for him, because he's my friend.

*Please don't mourn forever  
She's not coming back  
And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day  
And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness*

I can see his face tightening, his frame coiling, and I wonder if I was wrong, if this wasn't the right time at all. But then, like a flash of lightning, it's gone and he crumbles. I can hear his voice through the sobs and I don't know how to answer him. I don't know what to say to make it all make sense, to make him feel better, if I'm capable of doing such a thing. I put my arm around him, hoping that helps a little, and I say the only thing I can think of.

*I promise you you'll see the sun again*

I think he thinks it's stupid, but then he turns and looks at me and I can tell he understands what I'm trying to tell him. It's not something I can easily put into words, which some might find hard to believe give my particular loquacious nature at times, but it seems explanations aren't necessary. I take my arm from around him – his body language tells me it's enough – and we continue to sit there in silence. It won't be easy, and I know there'll be many days like this ahead, but it's a start.

*And I promise you you'll see the sun again*

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> So, I thought it was either Grace's PoV with Spence, with Mel being the deceased one, or Spence's PoV with Boyd, with Grace being the deceased one. But, in the end, you decide. :)


End file.
